foreword

‘That little ‘un – ‘ gasped Piggy – ‘him with the mark on his face, I don’t see him. Where is he now?‘

The crowd was as silent as death.

Monochrome seems so simple and nice. All you need is two colours; mix them in varying proportions and you get an array of tones. Charlie Chaplin makes me happier than Just For Laughs. Dogs look a lot more vivacious without their ruffs. It’s not too rigid cause you still get the little gray tufts.

But add the colours, the red and the blue and the green, and suddenly it gets complicated because not everyone deems them the way you do.

Dear Altec Lansing,

When I bought your ATP3 2.1 computer speaker model as an upgrade from some crappy 2.0 speakers that came with my then-PC I felt bliss – not only was I now able to blast my speakers when it was raining (which I absolutely love and my mom absolutely hates), it didn’t start to distort and feel as if they might explode at any time. It was clear, and it had just the right frequency response for me. It bordered on perfect.

Then I blew it up when I tried playing distorted guitar on them – a really dumb thing on my part, I admit.

So began my quest for the next pair of perfect Altec Lansing speakers – I’ve bought Sonic Gear and Creative speakers for friends and they just never seemed to sound satisfactory, and from experience I was pretty much loyal to your brand. The IT fair arrived and I quickly snagged up one of your newer models that looked so similar to my previous pair – I was really excited about going home and trying them out.

My verdict? Altec Lansing VS4121: most likely designed when the engineer was high on something. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not crappy or anything. They can sound perfect – but only when they’re hovering in mid air. I’m not gonna go into the technical stuff, basically when placed on the table the 500Hz range are so boosted the sound pretty much borders on unlistenable.

Sold it at a loss. Was so traumatized I think I went about half a year without speakers. Painful.

Learnt my lesson, decided if I wanted to buy speakers I was happy with I needed to test them in a quieter environment (compared to the fair). Today I went down to Stereo Electronics (which is an awesome shop that lets you try every pair of earphones that they sell) and painstakingly tested every pair of Altec Lansing speakers that they stocked. Finally settled on a UFO-looking pair, got excited again and went home.

Verdict? The Altec Lansing FX3021 expressionist PLUS model: Sounds great…… but who builds a subwoofer with loose parts that vibrate and make noise when music is playing?!?!?? The wires are also more flimsy, and sometimes far too short. I had to dig up an old cable to connect my computer to the sub.

So Altec Lansing, I don’t know what happened to you and I don’t really care anymore – I’m bycotting you after this pair of speakers. Never again will you have your wares on my table. And floor.

atee

If my 15-year old self were looking at me right now, she would be significantly bewildered – slightly shocked – and probably wouldn’t believe that this was really me from the future.

That’s what I shall think about for New Year’s, maybe work my actions for the next year around it.

Going through your conscience again and again and again and feeling bad and shittified about something that in actual fact claims equal fault from both parties involved = Naivety. Tell the whole world won’t you, I don’t give a fuck.

Firefox suggestions for replacing the word ‘shittified’: justified, identified, citified, quantified. Wtf?

Let’s all party like drunkn mad cows before we turn 21; you guys are awesome.

Stress officially took form for the first time in my head a month ago, and I thought it had subsided – but I guess it follows the current economic trend. Gives you false hope of things getting better, then brings you down again.

With great power comes great responsibility. If it happens again I’m so not going to let myself drive anymore. Cabs would seriously be a cheaper alternative.

Back to studying for my useless and uninteresting module – but as a Singaporean student I should be quite used to it by now, so I can do it. Optimism is key.

I feel so cheated, learning that it wasn’t a friend that I made – it was just someone who viewed me as another target to convert into a Christian and walk the ‘path of God‘. Who are you to tell me what to believe in, who are you to say that I will only find ‘life abundant‘ in Jesus?

There you are, already committing (at least) one of the deadly sins.

You know how there are days when it seems like everything is just screwing up? It’s like another monthly, except you don’t just feel fucked up, things are actually fucked up. Comes just as often, too, if not more.

However it is at these times where I allow myself to get a little morbid (well, more than usual).

It could’ve been worse – the perfect mantra as a remedy. It makes me feel just that little bit better.

I now also know what it’s like to have to work to pay off debts – it’s not a great feeling at all. I wonder how people can spend their entire lives doing that – then again, it’s not like we really have a choice. But I don’t like that feeling.

I’m never getting a car. Not in Singapore, anyway.

It’s funny how I adore the way the sky portrays itself to us all the time – the magnificence that takes shape with clouds, cirrus or cumulonimbus or just a blend of blue that seems to disperse from right above my head; how the sun seems to be its beating heart, its ferocity dissipating around it as it gets closer to the ground; the cirrus shapes of the clouds about it seeming to be the arteries that form a web around us, gently enclosing us within its body as if we were meant to serve our time in it as blood cells, or maybe viruses.

We are encased in, and as long as we do not cause the body to disappear we work parallel to the conveyor belts we have built. We are to follow the stereotypes of the Bible and the Koran, as well as those that the Presidents of the United States have set since the World War II; we are to remain educated and civilised whilst taking from those who are not, we are bound almost limitlessly by the contract of our blood to those who share it, we are to marry and love a husband and his children – but only if we are female. We are to marry the one whose seed we accidentally start nurturing, but only if we are female. We are to live with the illusion that what we call life on this planet is a lot better than the lack of it on Mars, though somehow we still seek to find something else on it, as if we know there was something better to look out for. We are to live, but we are not allowed to die of our own accord.

The sky hides us within its ozone-lacking bosom, protecting us from the menace of the outside world but not our own… much like the embrace of those who love us.

Tonight I lost a friend. One who saw me through the hard times in my life, one who was always there to soothe me with melodies unforgettable when I was bored, sad, happy, or just didn’t have anything better to do. One who seemed to know what it was that I wanted to hear. One who was sexy black.

I can’t believe I left it in the cab. I am in mourning.