foreword

Xiangli and I were queueing at Carrefour for a bottle of mineral water yesterday. In front of us was this Cacasian lady and her son. Looking at the amount of food they lay on the counter I was wishing I was the one she was cooking dinner for. Xiangli made a comment about their boxes of sushi; the lady heard it, smiled at us, we smiled back.

One of those typical ‘smile at strangers’ moments. Awkward but not really so. Then usually you just go back to your own business and forget. That sort of thing.

But wait, she turns back again. Holds up a bottle of French wine and tells us, “Sushi goes well with this,” and also mentions something about putting different foods of the world together.

I thought it was interesting.

Anyway, I’ve changed the template of the other part of the site, so go take a look.

And I’ll be playing solo at the Esplanade Outdoor Theatre tomorrow, Friday 1st Dec, at 7.45pm as well as 10pm. I’m playing chillout sets (hopefully the seats won’t be deserted), with the later set being a quieter one. Be there or be round!

I’m a bit high. This is a disclaimer. I’m too lazy to put brackets for the disclaimer. But not lazy enough to say that I’m too lazy to put brackets for it. Whoopdeedoo.

No spelling errors, typos as of yet. Let’s see how this entry goes.

I was feeling dumb cause I was reading back-entries of my diary. From two years ago till now. And I really think I was a teenager. Like all emo and stuff, And making mountains out of molehills. Or even anthills. Or even non-hills.

But anyway, I was just laughing at some of the stuff I’d typed. I would just punched myself in the face if me then were looking at me now laughing at what I’d typed then.

Whoops. Spilled some cognac over the letter ‘r’ on the keyboard. Nvm. Anyway.

I feel so dumb you know. Reading all those entries. I’d have dismissed them as rantings of a teenager – but looking closely it’s more about how I’ve grown, how I’ve learnt, how I’ve whatever-elsed. Not all happy things. But still. Part of growing up.

(okay, quite high.) And I guess I got unlazy enough to put some brackets up for a little disclaimer over there. Like curtains covering an act not to be seen. Like doors to an asylum. On to my third glass now. Now what present will I get for you for christmas, I wonder. And you, and you as well? These things we’ll never know until it comes to the time when you’ll have to unwrap it. Don’t shake it – it might just be fragile. It just might. i’m typing rubbish now aren’t I. But not a trace of soelling errors I suppose. I hope. Crap, Henny says this will many affects my training tmr. Tommorrow. One must spells in full words, for abbreviations are but a shortcut to language, to life, for everything else – there’s mastercard. And yes I sees many spelling errors in my typing now – and with a magic brush I will wish them away – though a wish is not as simple as in the movies – you have to work to make true them.

It is 2a.m. in the morning. My cheeks flushed, my fingers crazy, out of control, typing on and on on this page – what else will I type of? Nothing that will incrase any vulnerability on my part. Vulnerability – I almost couldn’t spell that. I hope I’d spelt it right. I certainly do. Nothing like a drunken dictionary of a sort in my head. Nothing like a cheap (only $25) bag to last me my trip over at Chiangmai to build dams and teach children how to brush their teeth. It’s nice and all black. I hope it will not brak open like my last bag did last year. Oh my I pressed the CAPS button a few times but worry not; I’ve correrted it. I’ve re-pressed it again. Once more – and again. A sometimes of the backspace. It helps lots – many won’t be able to see what horrible, simple mistakes I’ve made.

I think I’ve read too much of Atwood for my own good. Gosh, I’ll be working on one of her novels for a pretty long time next year. Wonder what that’ll do to me. she’s a good ol’ feminist, you know. Females aren’t useless. You and I know as much, but I won’t say anymore lest I say too much; it will be no good.

Kahang was fun, did I mention that?

And in another few days I’m off again, to Chiangmai. But I will be back for Christmas, as well as christmas dinners, and presnets to receieve and to give. Funny how I put receive first. How much I think she will spend on me will be how much I will spend on her.

I can’t believe my mom asked me that question.

And i lied so directly.

I ought to Shut Up, you know. It’s a a wonder I can still see the typos All Over at this state. Will I be able to wake up tomorrow? There’s training to be had. I need to buy presents a-many. Why are there only yellow lights in town this season, I’d wish for more colours. But i’m too distracted.

I should Shut Up.

I just borrowed 3 Dvds. There’s the Indigo Girls, Bon Jovi as well as Tori Amos. Besides the Indigo Girls’ video biography Watershed, the other two were live concerts.

Live performances are one of the main factors that define how I listen to artistes, I realized a while ago. It’s the main, main reason why I think Ani Difranco’s awesome – there are so many live audio clips of her performances you can find online. I actually thought she was only alright when I first started listening to her songs. Then I moved on to someone else.

Good thing I decided to give her another listen. I got a couple of her live tracks, listened to them, and suddenly… I’m talking about her here.

Her energy, her dialogue with the audience, she’s not your everyday performer.

But back to the topic.

So I watched Bon Jovi first. Their Crush tour. I saw a part of it before, and I loved how they connect their setlist. The transitions between some songs. They’re really tight. Okay that’s a given, they’ve already been playing together for so long.

But then there was the rehearsed dialogue. I don’t know how to explain it, it just felt like they didn’t really care. They were in their own world. Sort of. When the vocalist speaks to the crowd it’s to have the next song come in. So… impersonal. A formality. Maybe it’s just him.

Tori Amos’s Welcome to Sunny Florida was much more enjoyable – when the Dvd loads you already get a feel of her: the title appears over a background of rain. Her performance was great too. Loved the drummer and bassist – they give nothing too much, nothing too little. Showing what happens before she goes on stage was an eye-opener too.

But I’m not used to not hearing the audience at all with live performances. This one was really, really clean – just her, her piano-playing, the drummer and bassist.

But quite enjoyable lah, all of them.

(I suspect the live vocals were all dubbed though. Takes away so much of the magic. Hail to bootlegs!)

Sometimes, only sometimes.

Freedom – a free fall from the sky. A motion undisrupted by any other force. The exhilaration of having the air rush up to you – and then away – as you move at a speed so swift no one can catch up. Pillows of clouds you are finally up close with will watch from their sentry positions in envy – it is not their time yet – while you spread your arms wide as if you were about to embrace the entire world.

But you are not in control. You realize the clouds do not feel as good as they look – you grab at nothing. And it dawns on you that you are nothing but a prisoner, and even though the ozone walls thin you are chained by the heavy cuffs of Gravity, pulling you down into its lair, the barren, dried up ground about to swallow you up – but you can do nothing to stop it.

You can do nothing to stop.

There are so many things in life that we cannot control, that the ones we can become precious.

So don’t come up with excuses for yourself when you speak of a lousy situation that you jolly well know you have every power to prevent; to get rid of.

I wash my hands off this.

No it’s nothing about you, Haowen, in case you get paranoid. Hello.

Okay, here’s more EARGASMIK (as Terkey puts it) material for you guys -

Here’s an album I just bought – Ani Difranco’s Carnegie Hall bootleg. Am listening to it right now. This one she plays solo, without a band backing her up. I love it this way. Her voice raw and her guitar unhindered in doing its job. Nice and clear. I suck at reviews. Just go listen to it. Click on the picture to listen to some clips.

Then there’s a new album by Damien Rice. It sounds really great, the same way ‘O’ was great. It’s more or less the same styles of composition, but each song’s fresh in its own way. You still get Lisa Hannigan’s voice, you still get the emotional melodies that Rice tends to come up with, you still get a great album.

I’m still in sleepy mode for some strange reason. And I’m still in boring entries mode as well. I don’t really know why.

And so you’re back
From outer space
- I Will Survive, Cake

Trip to Kahang was okay, really. Not as bad/boring/lame/unorganized/dumb/insert-any-negative-adjective-here as I’d thought. Not the greatest either, but it was alright. Mainly it was the company - instead of being grouped randomly they pretty much organized us by classes, and my group included the really entertaining T11 girls and Tammy (haha). My tentmates were great too.

I’ll be uploading a few images a day. Already uploaded 6, more tomorrow.

Will write more about it after I’m rested enough; am really tired (lazy) – had to go out of the house again after arriving home, and only reach home after 12. I think I was already hallucinating by then. And I think I’m speaking gibberish so I’d better stop.

Okay, I know I just posted an entry but this particular object of terror requires your utmost attention.

Imagine yourself on a bus, expecting a nice, quiet journey somewhere, when a bunch of mats/bengs/shitheads slug their way on board. They then position themselves strategically at the back seats, pull out their handphones, and start blasting some shit music on their phones over their seriously smelly-breathed speech.

Now imagine the technology of playing mp3s on your phone’s speakers revolutionized.

I bring to your attention this. The worst thing (so far) that can happen – having an mp3 player with inbuilt speakers made just for blasting songs in public. Its ads on the papers say: Mp3freedom is sharing a soundtrack. And it describes its speakers-of-destruction as something that ‘lets you share your music anytime, anyplace.‘. And with it, ‘it’s not that hard to imagine‘.

That, my dear friends, marks the beginning of a big, big war. The IWANTPEACEONMYBUSRIDESGODDAMMIT war. TVmobile wasn’t enough, obviously. And no, some people (people?) just cannot keep their noises to themselves.

If you ever spot someone using one of these things, please grab it, run, and recycle its parts.

Funny how things worked out – I’d wanted to go places this holiday, and I am – 3 trips, in fact – just not where I’d intended. I’ll probably make a short photoentry on these places anyway. With a lousier camera. (Yes, I’m still brooding over my camera’s unintended migration.)

First up will be to Kahang, a mountain place in Malaysia. It’s a CJ organized trip. I’ve to go there to fill up the NYAA booklet. I have no idea why I signed up for it. But whatever. It’s gonna be next week, we leave on the 14th and come back 17th.

Then there’s ChiangMai, with the people from Nanyang. We’re going back there again, this time to build a more permanent facility – instead of a natural water filter that lasts for about 7 months, we’ll be building a water dam. Hoepfully it’ll be a better experience this time. I do remember myself saying I’d never sign up for something like this again after the previous trip. (I never learn, do I?) It’ll be from the 5th to 15th December.

And the last of it will be a cruise trip, with some classmates and hopefully Shisi. No idea where it’ll be docking. Hope this one’s good.

Weather’s great.

Anyway check out these new albums. Recently released. Folk-ish stuff, these. Click on them to listen to some clips.

Cher says:
I CANT BELIEVE YOU MADE OUT WITH A TOILET BOWL WITH A NAKED BATHING HOTTIE BESIDE YOU

Cher says:
i find it extremely funny